Expectations for the Expecting

"LOOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!"
"Push Baby push puuushhhh"
"YOURE SUCH AN A***HOLE"
-baby pops out-
"Babe we did it..uhh uhgg i mean YOU did it"
-Mother is now holding the baby-
"aww she's so beautiful, look at what we did, I love you honey"
-parents kiss-

[FADE  TO BLACK]

So i was thinking about this yesterday, (sorry i didnt post it was kinda an off day), What do you expect to go down in the delivery room? What do you expect to happen when youre out of the delivery room and youre in Couplet care?

Lets start with the delivery room.
Most moms expect the pain, and the pushing, and they have it all planned out. But why? Why have these crazy expectations? What if you give birth and its easy, you dont realize how hard you push and you get that baby out of there quick? What if instead you dont actually need the epi you wanted cause your contractions arent THAT bad. Ya know? Like why sike yourself out and expect all this pain? Why not calm your nerves and tell yourself "it'll be easy" or "I can do this" instead of preparing yourself for pain YOU MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY EXPIERIENCE and just chill? Ok? I mean for me i'm expecting things to go pretty smoothly. One because besides my mom and my loving boyfriend everyone else in my family is pretty WEIRD to say the least, and secondly, theres doctors there, like professional people who studied and did this like a bajillion times to help me out, and i'm pretty normal so its not like there is going to be a surprise down there that they havent seen already.

Now to that OH SO FUN introducing the baby part.
So youve invited everyone to your baby shower, everyone you called to tell that you were in labor..came. What now? Is there gunna be a horde of family rushing in the room stealing the baby, saying awwwhh and oooh, naming body parts similar to yours and the father? Or Maybe itll be a few people trickling in, like 1 or 3 at the most 5. My plan is to call people i want to be in the waiting room and have at most 4 come in at a time in the order of importance. Why? Because I JUST GAVE BIRTH. Pardon me but i wouldnt want to deal with anyone after that, plus I JUST GAVE BIRTH TO MY BABY, mine all mine, not yours, not yours, or yours, but MY BABY, like yeah i know im going to pretty much be with her for the next 18-22 years but she just got here, i want her to me. So out of the 48hrs at the hospital that i get with her, the people are only gunna get at most 18.