When i first got pregnant and told some people they were like "oh i want a baby" and such things and some of them were even like "ill do it without the dad". And i started to think about it. MTV has literally glamourized teen mommy-hood. Like they made it seem like its easy. Like its something that isnt that hard. Like i dont know where id be without my support system.
Sometimes i think of all those Maury shows where the girls are TRYING to get pregnant. LITERALLY TRYING like why would you try to make your life a lot less easier not necessarily hard but not too easy anymore.
This girl i know on my facebook who also had a baby and shes like 14, i see her all the time asking why her friends dont talk to her or why she has no life. Because once that baby gets here you pretty much stuck between two lives. Your teen life and your mommy life.
Its hard..its a hard struggle, cause i even am caught in between the same lives.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Mommy days ahead
So this seems crazy.
But i had a kid,
like a living breathing
crying
pooping
eat
Baby.
I am honestly still shocked and in disbelief that i had a baby, The moment she came out (dont worry im skipping gorry details) i was like "woah".
I am still not gunna be posting as much because my laptop is broken, but look this blog is not for nothing. And once i get a working laptop i will be posting more. But here admire my adorable daughter. =]
I am still not gunna be posting as much because my laptop is broken, but look this blog is not for nothing. And once i get a working laptop i will be posting more. But here admire my adorable daughter. =]
She got those looks from me.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Its not okay to be rude to US
Yes i am a teen mom - No my child is not a mistake, a product of an one night stand, or going to be a n'er do well.
yes i am a teen mom - No i did not drop out, do drugs, party "hart-tay", screw around, and i have not lost my mind.
Yes i am a teen mom - NO! You may not walk up and touch my belly.
yes i am a teen mom - No, MTV did not do this to me.
Yes i am a teen mom - No, i do not want to be on the show.
Yes i am a teen mom - and Yes i do know who the babys father is, and yes if you stare and be rude, he will kick a**.
I don't know what the helker is up with society, but being rude to a teen mommy-to-be or ANY mommy-to-be is just wrong. Why? Because you don't understand what we must go through everyday. Being a teen mom, this is what i have to deal with whenever i go out, including with ***** (daddy).
-People Starring
-People Pointing
-People whispering
-People gawking
-Rude remarks
-Rude looks
-Speeches
-Comments
-BELLY TOUCHING!!!!!!!!!
So someone not moving out of my way, espicially if am entering Wal-mart on the Enter side and you are Exiting from THE ENTER SIDE, and you want to nearly ram your cart into me. Then you must be crazy. Just because there are teen mommies out there, and yeah we know it doesnt look good on us, NOTHING REALLY LOOKS GOOD ON US, but it doesnt look good on you, when you make fun of us. Its like keep your comments in your head, or -if you have nothing to say, dont say anything at all.
Do you think we havent heard speech after speech from family members?
Do you think that we havent lost something (friends, family support and appeal.etc..)?
We already have to try and go against the grain from the crazy girls on MTV and their issues, in fact maybe i should be mad at MTV, because they protray teen mommies as these crazy, drinking, partying, girls. And i have been to some teen preggo mommy events and most of them arent like that.
Recently my friend ******* has gotten prgenant, and she was on the pill and it failed, so its not like us teen girlies are TRYING TO GET PREGNANT, its that society is lying to us and birth control is failing. Yes, teens have sex, probably more than they used to, but teens have sex. Look at RJ berger, Jennifers Body, I Just Want My Pants Back, Teen Wolf, teen sex is everywhere. So if people started paying attention, they wouldnt be so shocked that teens get pregnant.
...i'm sorry America, blame reality TV.
yes i am a teen mom - No i did not drop out, do drugs, party "hart-tay", screw around, and i have not lost my mind.
Yes i am a teen mom - NO! You may not walk up and touch my belly.
yes i am a teen mom - No, MTV did not do this to me.
Yes i am a teen mom - No, i do not want to be on the show.
Yes i am a teen mom - and Yes i do know who the babys father is, and yes if you stare and be rude, he will kick a**.
I don't know what the helker is up with society, but being rude to a teen mommy-to-be or ANY mommy-to-be is just wrong. Why? Because you don't understand what we must go through everyday. Being a teen mom, this is what i have to deal with whenever i go out, including with ***** (daddy).
-People Starring
-People Pointing
-People whispering
-People gawking
-Rude remarks
-Rude looks
-Speeches
-Comments
-BELLY TOUCHING!!!!!!!!!
So someone not moving out of my way, espicially if am entering Wal-mart on the Enter side and you are Exiting from THE ENTER SIDE, and you want to nearly ram your cart into me. Then you must be crazy. Just because there are teen mommies out there, and yeah we know it doesnt look good on us, NOTHING REALLY LOOKS GOOD ON US, but it doesnt look good on you, when you make fun of us. Its like keep your comments in your head, or -if you have nothing to say, dont say anything at all.
Do you think we havent heard speech after speech from family members?
Do you think that we havent lost something (friends, family support and appeal.etc..)?
We already have to try and go against the grain from the crazy girls on MTV and their issues, in fact maybe i should be mad at MTV, because they protray teen mommies as these crazy, drinking, partying, girls. And i have been to some teen preggo mommy events and most of them arent like that.
Recently my friend ******* has gotten prgenant, and she was on the pill and it failed, so its not like us teen girlies are TRYING TO GET PREGNANT, its that society is lying to us and birth control is failing. Yes, teens have sex, probably more than they used to, but teens have sex. Look at RJ berger, Jennifers Body, I Just Want My Pants Back, Teen Wolf, teen sex is everywhere. So if people started paying attention, they wouldnt be so shocked that teens get pregnant.
...i'm sorry America, blame reality TV.
Monday, May 21, 2012
When Daddy is nervous and Mommy is insane
7 months. Thats 2 more months before i have to give birth. GIVE. BIRTH. B-I-R-T-H. That is 2 more months before i can see what my baby is gunna look like. 2 more months before i can expierience the "joys of motherhood". The only thing i have ever waited two months for was a shirt from britain that i bought with my allowance.
7 months is like a mile stone. I see my doctor more, shes fairly nice so thats not too bad. I have a baby shower, thankfully thrown by mommys good friend (Thank you, i know youre reading :p ). I gain more weight as she grows to her full final size, which hopefully isnt too big, pretty please baby get my genes, be not so tall like daddyy. So it would seem like everything is in order, right?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I am freaking out. I am so worried about early birth, breaching, emergency c-sections, something wrong with her, and freaking out to where i wont push. And lately ive been going crazy with these back pains and all these crazy temperature swings, i'm pregnant in California heat, and not just any california heat, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DESERT HEAT, which is pretty much like being a microwave for 4 months straight. And it gets so hard to fuction and i wanna keep being a tiny bit active so i wont have any complications or any unneccessary dealings. Lately pregnancy brain has replaced my regular brain, my belly has caused hundreds of head turns, eye bulging, jaw-drops, and few whispers. Which would not normally get to me, but with pregnancy brain, it makes me want to cry an ocean of tears :,,,,,,,( and then drown them all in it >:D (see mood swings to the fullest!). Also, i'm so happy that Mommy has such great friends, one of them has offered to do some belly pics, which i just am super excited for, because i am just slightly conceided and i cant stop touching my belly. And then, theres school... I have like 2 weeks left of it, and thats soo great but waking up with back pains from the underworld, makes it hard to sit in a hard chair, walk from class to class, and just fucntion normally. Plus, summer school where i am taking my Junior classes to get ahead so my senior year will actually be my Junior year, Yeah? Sounds great right? Almost, cause at the same time i will have a kid, but my wonderfilled mommy has agreed to help me out with her as long as i am doing my summer school. Which i appreciate to the highest but i dont want to fully rely on my mom, because while she is great and stuff, it is my responsibility, but hey she can spoil her all she wants, thats what grammas are for.
Now, daddy. So lately ive been spending so much time with my boyfriend, nothing baby-related, because we've learned that causes stress, because i want US to be ready a little bit before this baby gets here, i mean shes going to come wether we like it or not, but still doing our silly teen couple things (backyard bonfires, midnite swimming, daytime swimming, going to the park and staying to look at stars on Google skymap) so that we dont lose focus on the main component of everything, LOVESSS! Because if we cant love us together, how are we gunna love eachother and a baby. But recently, he cant sleep, been waking up in a cold sweat, and just hasnt been sleeping well at all. So i asked, " ***** , are you nervous?" and after a short pause i got a sigh and a, "Yes." Which i can understand because ya know, babies are scary and they are a lot of work. So we talked and i found out that all he is really nervous about is, she wont like him! Like what??????? So i said this, "Why wouldnt she like you? She only kicks when you're around, you talk to her all the time, and she knows when youre coming because she starts kicking me like she'd rather be in you. Plus, she wouldnt be, without you. Plus, who can say that their dad had a green mohawk?." So with thar and talking more we finally went to sleep, but he couldnt resist apparently and said to my stomach, " ****** , kick me if you like me better than mom", and that kick to his face could have not been harder.
7 months is like a mile stone. I see my doctor more, shes fairly nice so thats not too bad. I have a baby shower, thankfully thrown by mommys good friend (Thank you, i know youre reading :p ). I gain more weight as she grows to her full final size, which hopefully isnt too big, pretty please baby get my genes, be not so tall like daddyy. So it would seem like everything is in order, right?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I am freaking out. I am so worried about early birth, breaching, emergency c-sections, something wrong with her, and freaking out to where i wont push. And lately ive been going crazy with these back pains and all these crazy temperature swings, i'm pregnant in California heat, and not just any california heat, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DESERT HEAT, which is pretty much like being a microwave for 4 months straight. And it gets so hard to fuction and i wanna keep being a tiny bit active so i wont have any complications or any unneccessary dealings. Lately pregnancy brain has replaced my regular brain, my belly has caused hundreds of head turns, eye bulging, jaw-drops, and few whispers. Which would not normally get to me, but with pregnancy brain, it makes me want to cry an ocean of tears :,,,,,,,( and then drown them all in it >:D (see mood swings to the fullest!). Also, i'm so happy that Mommy has such great friends, one of them has offered to do some belly pics, which i just am super excited for, because i am just slightly conceided and i cant stop touching my belly. And then, theres school... I have like 2 weeks left of it, and thats soo great but waking up with back pains from the underworld, makes it hard to sit in a hard chair, walk from class to class, and just fucntion normally. Plus, summer school where i am taking my Junior classes to get ahead so my senior year will actually be my Junior year, Yeah? Sounds great right? Almost, cause at the same time i will have a kid, but my wonderfilled mommy has agreed to help me out with her as long as i am doing my summer school. Which i appreciate to the highest but i dont want to fully rely on my mom, because while she is great and stuff, it is my responsibility, but hey she can spoil her all she wants, thats what grammas are for.
Now, daddy. So lately ive been spending so much time with my boyfriend, nothing baby-related, because we've learned that causes stress, because i want US to be ready a little bit before this baby gets here, i mean shes going to come wether we like it or not, but still doing our silly teen couple things (backyard bonfires, midnite swimming, daytime swimming, going to the park and staying to look at stars on Google skymap) so that we dont lose focus on the main component of everything, LOVESSS! Because if we cant love us together, how are we gunna love eachother and a baby. But recently, he cant sleep, been waking up in a cold sweat, and just hasnt been sleeping well at all. So i asked, " ***** , are you nervous?" and after a short pause i got a sigh and a, "Yes." Which i can understand because ya know, babies are scary and they are a lot of work. So we talked and i found out that all he is really nervous about is, she wont like him! Like what??????? So i said this, "Why wouldnt she like you? She only kicks when you're around, you talk to her all the time, and she knows when youre coming because she starts kicking me like she'd rather be in you. Plus, she wouldnt be, without you. Plus, who can say that their dad had a green mohawk?." So with thar and talking more we finally went to sleep, but he couldnt resist apparently and said to my stomach, " ****** , kick me if you like me better than mom", and that kick to his face could have not been harder.
Fat Mode
When I was skinny there was nothing more id love to do than eat. Not cause I was hungry i or anything I just like the taste of food and I had the metabolism to pursue this hobby. Now not so much. I'm more aware that I'm eating.
I know eating is supposed to be good for the baby, and that she can taste what i can taste, which makes me want her to expierience alllllllllllll the flavors of the world but, what about me? I know it is a selfish-ish question to ask but, when she comes out, i still have that weight on me. And i dont want to instantanously go back to my original size (00 [: ) but i was never the best with excersizing. So i'm having this internal conflict with myself thinking "remember you have to eat to feed the baby too", which is okay when you add like peanut butter toast or peanut butter english muffin to your cereal for breakfast (not actually IN the cereal but WITH IT) because its that tiny extra for the baby. But then when youre at your like 5th bowl of cereal, who is REALLY feeding who? Plus i'm 7 months now, and she all up in my back and that makes it extremely hard to waddle, waddle, waddle, waddle, not walk. Walking is way to hard, espicially when you cant see your feet and you have an extreme hatred for bugs and sharp objects in your feet.
I know eating is supposed to be good for the baby, and that she can taste what i can taste, which makes me want her to expierience alllllllllllll the flavors of the world but, what about me? I know it is a selfish-ish question to ask but, when she comes out, i still have that weight on me. And i dont want to instantanously go back to my original size (00 [: ) but i was never the best with excersizing. So i'm having this internal conflict with myself thinking "remember you have to eat to feed the baby too", which is okay when you add like peanut butter toast or peanut butter english muffin to your cereal for breakfast (not actually IN the cereal but WITH IT) because its that tiny extra for the baby. But then when youre at your like 5th bowl of cereal, who is REALLY feeding who? Plus i'm 7 months now, and she all up in my back and that makes it extremely hard to waddle, waddle, waddle, waddle, not walk. Walking is way to hard, espicially when you cant see your feet and you have an extreme hatred for bugs and sharp objects in your feet.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
When I'm done being a whale
Theres many things i wanna do when im done being pregnant, and most of them are fairly simple. Like nothing BIG. No, why would i want to do something drastic after being pregnant? Thats just weird.
I first, obviously want to have my old size back, 0-3 ish. Because if i have to buy another size 9 i am going to explode. The first time i bought fives i was barely fitting them and even that made me want to tear up a little, i miss my cute little curves that i once had in my bathing suit, mostly because i have like a boyish body figure, minus the wonderful inherited asset. But no after that just little things, that ive been wanting to that just had to be put on hold for a while.
The first thing is to get new tops for my dermal hip piercings. So far i have been lucky to where my skin has not grown over them, because i clean them probably 4 times a day, its almost religious and obsessive, i swear, so i havent had to take them out, but i havent had different tops since i got them. I even think that my mom has forgotten that they are there. What has happened though is they have moved slightly inward, but that is just because my skin has expanded and they grow with my skin so once i start thinning back out they will move back to their place. I dont know i was thinking little gemmy ones or maybe a unicorn. IDK this site i go on to look at them, since dermal piercing tops are like EXTREMELY RARE to find in your average hot topic or local piercing supply.
Speaking of piercings ive been really really contemplating getting my belly button pierced. I just think it would look cute if i had a little trio. Not like the flashy dangly ones that are crazy, nope just the little basic one. I was talking to my boyfriend about this, and he gave me this weird look and asked me if i was "obsessed or something" because if I do eventually get all the piercings i want which is only 3 more (my belly, my nose and i want dermals on my back dimples) id have a total of 4 which is only 2 more than he has, but 3 of mine would be hidden so id really only have 1 that people would know about.
Getting my permit. Since i'll be graduating early, ya know why not have my permit also
And finally, I just wanna go to disneyland.
I first, obviously want to have my old size back, 0-3 ish. Because if i have to buy another size 9 i am going to explode. The first time i bought fives i was barely fitting them and even that made me want to tear up a little, i miss my cute little curves that i once had in my bathing suit, mostly because i have like a boyish body figure, minus the wonderful inherited asset. But no after that just little things, that ive been wanting to that just had to be put on hold for a while.
The first thing is to get new tops for my dermal hip piercings. So far i have been lucky to where my skin has not grown over them, because i clean them probably 4 times a day, its almost religious and obsessive, i swear, so i havent had to take them out, but i havent had different tops since i got them. I even think that my mom has forgotten that they are there. What has happened though is they have moved slightly inward, but that is just because my skin has expanded and they grow with my skin so once i start thinning back out they will move back to their place. I dont know i was thinking little gemmy ones or maybe a unicorn. IDK this site i go on to look at them, since dermal piercing tops are like EXTREMELY RARE to find in your average hot topic or local piercing supply.
Speaking of piercings ive been really really contemplating getting my belly button pierced. I just think it would look cute if i had a little trio. Not like the flashy dangly ones that are crazy, nope just the little basic one. I was talking to my boyfriend about this, and he gave me this weird look and asked me if i was "obsessed or something" because if I do eventually get all the piercings i want which is only 3 more (my belly, my nose and i want dermals on my back dimples) id have a total of 4 which is only 2 more than he has, but 3 of mine would be hidden so id really only have 1 that people would know about.
Getting my permit. Since i'll be graduating early, ya know why not have my permit also
And finally, I just wanna go to disneyland.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I think my dog knows im pregnant.
So with everything going on, I think i might have made my dog terminally depressed. And part of me feels really bad. Like why am i such a terrible person, but then i give her a piece of meat, she smiles, and im fine.
I think my dog feels like her replacement is coming or something. Lately she wants like nothing to do with me sometimes. And it might be because im pregnant and havent been able to take long walks like we used to or maybe because she feels like she will soon be replaced, im not sure. But my puppy is sad and i am sad, until i get another mood swing.
It all started when i noticed she didnt want to lay on my lap or cuddle with me like she used to. At first i thought it was because she was getting bigger and she thought she was too big, but now its like this hatred of me. Then she used to cry when i went to the bathroom, like sit at the door and scratch and scratch until i came out, but now she must be thinking im having an affair with the toilet, like she looks at me heading to the bathroom and gives me this look like "Why? What did i do wrong?". It breaks my heart sometimes.
There are so many things after that but this last one really just gets me right there. Even as she got bigger, she would sleep in the bed with me, even if i put hers next to my bed shed whine til she was on her designated pillow. Now when its time for the house to shut down, she sombers into my MOMS room. She doesnt even really like my mom all that much, but ill get up to get water and there she is at the end of her bed, starring at me like "Why? What did i do wrong?".
I think my dog feels like her replacement is coming or something. Lately she wants like nothing to do with me sometimes. And it might be because im pregnant and havent been able to take long walks like we used to or maybe because she feels like she will soon be replaced, im not sure. But my puppy is sad and i am sad, until i get another mood swing.
It all started when i noticed she didnt want to lay on my lap or cuddle with me like she used to. At first i thought it was because she was getting bigger and she thought she was too big, but now its like this hatred of me. Then she used to cry when i went to the bathroom, like sit at the door and scratch and scratch until i came out, but now she must be thinking im having an affair with the toilet, like she looks at me heading to the bathroom and gives me this look like "Why? What did i do wrong?". It breaks my heart sometimes.
There are so many things after that but this last one really just gets me right there. Even as she got bigger, she would sleep in the bed with me, even if i put hers next to my bed shed whine til she was on her designated pillow. Now when its time for the house to shut down, she sombers into my MOMS room. She doesnt even really like my mom all that much, but ill get up to get water and there she is at the end of her bed, starring at me like "Why? What did i do wrong?".
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